LIMERICKS PUBLISHED

A brief limerick phase (July, 2019.)

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On the word ‘’time’’ - -

A belief in “Creation”’s a crime.
“In our oceans we started as slime.”
Both these are naive,
I’d rather believe,
We existed before space and time.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the words “Manchurian candidate” - -

His foes yell “Manchurian candidate.”
“Works for Russia or maybe a caliphate.”
“Find a crime or a breach,
For grounds to impeach.”
But McConnell says, “Trump we won't castrate.”

http://wordsmith.org/awad/awadmail891.html

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On the theme ‘’investing’’ - -

“Invest in yourself,” it’s the rules.
“Education will give you life tools.”
If our goal’s to know bliss,
Surely we could find this,
Without going to all of those schools.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the theme ‘’investing’’ - -

“Invest in yourself,” it’s the rules.
“Education will give you life tools.”
There is: “Be,” “Have” and “Do;”
We are taught the last two,
But find “Be” on our own, not in schools.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the word ‘’time’’ - -

Her shape's her key trait, we're conditioned;
For a role as our mate, she's auditioned.
On women through time,
Men think, "Fat is a crime;
It depends, though, on where it's positioned."

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the word ‘’time’’ - -

God made Adam, strong, forceful, a brute,
And then Eve, demure, shapely, and cute.
He gestured in mime,
Then boomed, “Don’t waste time,
You’re created to share attribute.”

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the theme ‘’investing’’ - -

“The new crypto named Bitcoin,” said Lee.
“Now pennies, soon thousands, you’ll see.”
“You’re dreaming,” I said,
“Made sure bets instead.
Bought Enron, and Madoff, and Boesky.”

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the word ‘’time’’ - -

Morning brain calisthenics sublime,
Is to laugh here with entries so prime.
To read ‘em and write ‘em,
The start-of-day item,
Dementia’s postponed for a time.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the word ‘’time’’ - -

Global bankers are in for a fall.
Plus government cohorts, et al.
Indictments for crime,
Tribunals give time.
They ought to be flogged, this cabal.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the word ‘’tradecraft ’’ (techniques of espionage) - -

About Snowden, not all would agree;
Or Manning, who bargained a plea.
For engaging in tradecraft,
They’ve both hit a downdraft:
One's Russian, the other a she.

http://wordsmith.org/awad/awadmail889.html

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On the word ‘’time’’ - -

The teacher gave “C” for his rhymes.
Then “D” for his metrical crimes.
“You also exaggerate,
And numbers inflate.
I’ve told you this millions of times.”

(An “F” to the teacher for truth.)

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/07/14/limerick-off-time/

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On the word ‘’screen’’ - -

At the airport, a frustrating scene,
Just to walk thru that EMF screen,
“Shoes and coins in the basket,”
I near blow a gasket,
A nation of sheeple is seen.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/06/29/limerick-off-screen/

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On the word ‘’screen’’ - -

Thoughts in anapest now his mind screens.
At the store he said “ONE pound sarDINES,
And those APples, and CHEEZE,
Some fresh BREAD, two loaves PLEASE,
And that PRUNE juice, plus THREE cans of BEANS.”

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/06/29/limerick-off-screen/

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On the word ‘’screen’’ - -

An advantage to guys who will screen
For a mate in our match-making scene.
While her play things she shows,
He hides his beneath clothes,
Just how fair is the dating routine.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/06/29/limerick-off-screen/

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On the theme ‘’wind instrument’’ - -

(A different take on ‘’wind instrument’’)

It’s essential a pilot must heed,
Vital wind sock direction and speed.
For this wind-instrument
Is designed to prevent
Wrong-way landings, a crash guaranteed.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/06/29/limerick-off-screen/

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On the words “horse race” --

Horse-racing is cruel to the max,
Plus fortunes are lost at the tracks.
Third reason to vent:
The poor losers are sent
To be Whoppers and also Big Macs.

http://wordsmith.org/awad/awadmail887.html

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On the word “loot” - -

The heist of all times used a ‘chute.
Dan Cooper they’re still in pursuit.
Intrigued with the myst’ry,
Some privately wish he
Forever absconds with the loot.

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2019/06/15/limerick-off-loot/comment-page-1/#comment-410707

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Some decent ones not published.

(True: a gem from my 10 year old daughter.)

“Want to teach when you’re big?” I inquired.
“Be a doctor or lawyer when hired?”
“Be like you,” daughter cried.
“I’m retir’d,” I replied.
“Now I know what to be - - be retired.”

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Rock started in small Ashtabula,
Not Memphis, so don’t let ‘em fool ya.
A band with a beat
Had us stomping our feet,
The first to sing “Bee-Boop-a-Luu-La.”

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When a lim’ricist’s demise has come,    
To natural causes succumb,
At the funeral pyre,
In the ether and higher,
We hear ‘DUM da da DUM da da DUM’.

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On the words ‘’horse race’’ - -

In twenty sixteen was a horse race.
Vote counting came in at a fast pace.
At the end of the night,
Time to concede the fight,
Mad Hill’ry was cursing and shit face.

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On the words “Zeno’s paradox” - -

“Zeno’s paradox.” Yikes! Enough. Halt!
So online I went, sites to consult,
‘’Zeno,’’ ‘’Xenu’’ not same,
Quite a different name.
First thought Anu’s promoting a cult.

(Anu is proprietor of A Word a Day. Xenu is the evil overlord in the Scientology myth.)

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(Bawdy ones not included.)

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